2015: The Year in Review

Dear Friends and Family, near and far:

Feliz (belated) Navidad and Feliz (belated) Año from the Goetz Family!

This year, we decided to send Christmas cards only to our nuclear family—which is a huge group of folks to begin with! With the impossibly busy end of the semester for me coinciding with the holiday season, we decided to make things easy on us and keep the madness of card sending to a minimum. Enough is enough, I say! We also did something we’ve been wanting to do for years: we took the money we would have spent on sending cards to all of our loved ones, plus the postage it would have cost us, and donated it to St. Jude Children’s Hospital (if interested, go here). Too many little ones in our kiddos’ circles have been affected by cancer, and one case in particular really hit home this past year: a sweet sibling to a friend and classmate to Pili lost her battle. Her family bravely shared their journey and their model of faith throughout Hannah's fight. We’re incredibly blessed with three healthy kiddos and wanted to pay it forward somehow, even if just a teeny tiny bit. To those of you who didn’t receive our card this year, we hope you understand our reasoning. And be on the look out for a note from us in the coming year as I try and revive the ancient art of letter writing! 

Here is our Christmas card: simple and sweet. It was taken in our beloved Bloomington, when we went to visit our many dear friends there this past October. Bloomingtonians, it’s that splendid tree off the B-line that welcomes you into the Farmer’s Market.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! 

And now for the fun part…here is an update on our family, written from my very biased and non-objective point of view:  

Joseph Anthony Goetz, also known as ‘Joe,’ ‘Joselito,’ ‘Joselito chiquitito,’ ‘Big  Bro Joe,’ to name a few, is in first grade. He loves Math, Science, and most especially Gym class. Each Tuesday and Thursday (gym days) when I pick him up from school, he’s a sweaty mess. The kid plays hard and he’s also studying pretty hard: he’s pretty disciplined with his (albeit minimal) homework. Jack says he sees the world as a scientist would (Jack was once a scientist; and once a scientist, always a scientist); Jack and Joe bond over this, and it makes me happy that someone understands him as well as his Daddy does on an intellectual level. He and I get each other on an emotional level, because in that sense, we are much the same. He’s a fascinating walking combination of both of us.

This boy is my heart!

Joseph loves sports of all sorts, playing outside with his neighborhood buddies, and giving his littlest sister, Lourdes, lots of lovies—while pestering his oldest sister, Pilar, relentlessly. As Jack and I often comment to each other (but never ever in front of the kiddos, of course), Joe will move mountains for Lourdes, but won’t even move over for Pilar.

Joseph in five words: responsible, honest, thoughtful, determined, tenderhearted (I much prefer ‘tierno’ in Spanish, which means the same as ‘tenderhearted,’ but somehow captures Joe better). If I had a sixth word, I would say witty or charming: he’s got a good sense of humor and is our newfound optimist; the combination is captivating—though I say this as his proud Momma, so how could I not think this? Joseph probably earns the title of most well-adjusted human living under the Goetz roof, adults included. The move to Michigan has done wonders for him, as he’s come out of his shell and into his own. He is our firstborn, with all the traits to match, and a true joy in our lives.

More likes for Joseph: chewing gum, spaghetti, bread with butter, cinnamon rolls with extra icing, watching Wheel of Fortune and Chopped as a family, spelling b-u-t-t out loud multiple times a day, commercial jingles (think ‘Call 1-800 Steeeeeeamer…’), playing golf with his Daddy, talking Harry Potter with his Mommy. Dislikes: being overcrowded with hugs when he’s not ready to give them, warm milk, being wrong (he gets it honest from both of us), disappointing his parents (also sounds familiar to me), when Pilar tries to tag along and play with him and his buddies. Fun fact about Joseph: he has a picture of us from our wedding day in his room, which he took from one of our shelves downstairs. I think it's the sweetest thing. 

Pilar Kathryn Goetz (‘Pili,’ ‘Miss P,’ ‘P cakes,’ ‘Pilarín,’ ‘Pili-Pili-Pumpkin Pie’) is in her second year of pre-school. She’s kindergarten-bound next year, and very much looking forward to it! She also loves Math (especially sorting) and Science (she recently did an experiment in her class about which objects absorb water that she still talks about), but her true loves are drawing, writing, and creating. She sees the world through the eyes of an artist and, like all great creators, marches to the beat of a different drum. I just adore this about her. I (mostly) look forward to the outfits she’s going to pick out every day—though recently, she got to school and one of her friends asked her quite seriously: “Is that a costume, Pili?”

Classic Miss P face

She’s the most independent of all the Goetz kiddos, and also the most mercurial: moody, brooding and pensive one minute, a total hoot and life of the party the next. She has quite the flair for drama and loves telling stories (which are sometimes tall tales). Pili is still finding her true hobbies—and very much still finding her true self. She’s the member of the Goetz clan struggling most to find her new role in our family. She’s clearly a bit lost trying to find her place, but I’m proud of her for never ever taking it out on her baby sister…she mostly takes it out on us. ;) In addition to now being the middle child, her very first playmate and her role model, her big brother, is always out and about playing with his friends—and not her. This hurts her little (actually, larger than life) heart and she’s not afraid to show it. In fact, she is quite adept at articulating her feelings. Despite her current challenges, she grows into her big sister role with greater confidence every day and that just warms this Momma’s heart. 

Pilar in five words: creative, sensitive, caring, independent, clever. The move to Michigan has been a bit tougher on Miss P. She’s the one out of all of us, to talk most about our old house and friends in Bloomington. In fact, if I got to pick a sixth word for Pili, I would say she’s nostalgic. She loves to look at old pictures and reflect on what she remembers. She recently said to me, “Isn’t it sad that Desi was never a part of our world in Bloomington?” She also loves to play ‘pretend,’ as in: “Pretend I’m the baby and my name is Desi and you give me lots of lovins all the time.” (See, even her pretend play has an element of ‘middle child syndrome!’) There is never a dull moment with Pilar and her greatest gift to our family is her spunk and the laughter she brings us; if you ever here this girl get a true case of the giggles, it is IMPOSSIBLE not to join in on the fun. Thankfully, she’s able to laugh at herself quite a bit and not take herself too seriously (a condition her brother, on the other hand, often suffers from). But, don’t be fooled, just because she doesn’t always take herself seriously, doesn’t mean she can’t be serious. Serious or frivolous, whatever her mood, her wheels are *always* turning. She gets this one from me and I relate to her on many levels because of it.  

More likes for la Pili: Colby Jack cheese, Mozzarella cheese, Manchego cheese (notice a trend?), crackers, strawberries, new pencils and notebooks for her doodles, sweet treats, swimming, shoes, tutus, books, carbs. Dislikes: getting out of bed too early in the morning, vegetables, organized sports, matching socks (“Socks that match are bowwwwing,” she says), cleaning up after herself, having her hair brushed. Fun fact about Pili: she can be a bit of a 'collector of things,' shall we say (this is a nice way of saying she may have hoarding tendencies; just yesterday I found a pile of Christmas ornaments she had collected in her room and put in the corner). 

Lourdes Teresa Goetz (‘Desi’, ‘la pequeña,’ ‘Desicita, más linda,’ ‘Desi Doo,’ ‘Dez Dez’) is eight months old and growing and changing by the day. She is such a delight, a true source of light in our lives, and she fits right in to the Goetz chaos. It’s as if she’s been with us all along. Her transition into the family was (mostly) quite natural. She’s an interesting combination of her parents and her siblings. As far as looks are concerned, she could be Joe’s lankier and leaner body double as a baby, and there are days where her looks are so similar to her Daddy’s, it’s scary. But with each passing day, she looks more and more like…herself.

My girls--they are my soul. 

As for personality—she’s at once easygoing and laidback while also curious and the busiest body of all of our babies. We’ve recently taken to calling her Señorita Busy Fingers. Just the other night, she pushed off a jar of salsa at a restaurant, shattering it to pieces. She’s rarely ever in a foul mood and complains pretty much only when she’s hungry or tired. We hit the lottery with this little gal and we recognize it. She’s the kind of third child that might just trick us into having a fourth—though, these days, our family of five feels beautifully complete. (Wow, even as I wrote that, my heart hurt to think about her being our last...how can you really ever come to terms with a baby being your last, I wonder?)

Lourdes in five words: joyful, sweet, snuggly, curious, ornery (oh, but her ornery smile is SO STINKIN’ CUTE). Her smile brightens up a room, but as soon as you take her for the sweetest and most innocent little babe you’ve ever known, she deftly reaches for food right off your plate, or gives your dangly earrings a big old yank. She keeps us on our toes, that Miss Desi Doo. She likes playing with toys that aren’t toys (boxes, wisks, Christmas tree ornaments), being entertained by her older siblings, feeling Joe’s fuzzy hair, grabbing Pili’s long locks, sitting at the dinner table with the rest of us (though not necessarily eating), playing in the bath, yogurt, Cheerios, graham crackers and stewed carrots.

Dislikes: baby food, sitting still, being put in her car seat, having her fingernails trimmed, sleeping through the night. 9 times out of 10, Desi loves being smack dab in the center of the busyness of our house. But 10% of the time, she likes to chill out and be alone. For that reason, she sometimes earns the nickname ‘Sole,’ (so-lay), short for ‘Soledad,’ which means ‘solitude’ in Spanish. My new job has me speaking more Spanish than ever, which I love, and it’s also rubbed off on the kiddos. I love waking up to a chorus of ‘Bueno días, Momma’ and ‘Hola, caracola.’ The one who hears the most Spanish is la pequeña—and she responds to it with her signature gummy (though two teeth are now poking through) smile. *Melt.* Fun fact about Lourdes: she is named after Our Lady of Lourdes; her middle name is after my mom, who is named after St. Teresa of Avila. Perhaps Desi is our nun?!

John (also known as Jack, though only to me and my family; to the rest of the world, he’s ‘John’) earns the award for ‘best sport’ in the Goetz household. He’s been a true chameleon and has taken on so many roles since our move to Michigan. (Let’s be clear for a quick minute: moving to Michigan was a great move for us as a family unit, especially as it brought about bringing Desi into the world, but a very tough one on John because he was really hitting his stride as a realtor and broker in Bloomington, which took him about three years to establish.)

John and Desi at his office: two of a kind

John’s most recent role (since September) has been as a stay at home working dad, juggling his fledgling business in Ann Arbor with daddy daycare for Desi. He’s the guy taking his daughter on showings with his clients by morning, diapering, interacting, bathing in the afternoon, and doing middle of the night feedings at 4, 5, or 6 am. I love him for this role he has improvised more than he will ever know. This was after spending the summer busy with clients and networking, prepping for his paternity leave with our littlest. In addition to being our baby girl’s primary caretaker, he’s also the house chef and grocery store shopper (as we like to joke, if those tasks were left to me, our family would go hungry), as well as the primary problem solver for all things domestically related. I do my best to show him my appreciation for these things, which most certainly do not go unnoticed by me—or our children. Case in point: recently, Joseph thought it was so interesting to hear his friend talk about how his mom does the cooking at his house; he seemed genuinely perplexed that a mom would do the cooking instead of the dad! And baking…forget about it. Joseph and Pili already know that if their class at school is expected to bring in a sweet treat, they better ask their Daddy—or be okay with me buying store-bought treats. As John and I have already established years ago, he’s the Italian wife I’ll never be. ;) Both of us are fine with this. It is certainly not my cooking or baking prowess that ever attracted him to me, so why start now, I say?

In all seriousness, John has been at home with Desi longer than I have (I was with her from May until the start of classes in September). And while he knows in his heart that this time with our baby girl is precious, and there’s no one we would rather have care for her than one of us (this was not even an option with Joseph or Pilar, as neither of our jobs provided such flexibility in Bloomington), he is itching to find his stride as a realtor in A2 and he is (we are) caught in an ever-familiar game of catch 22. For now, we are in a holding pattern until this semester ends, when I’ll become Desi’s primary caregiver from May until September. Ah, life on the academic calendar!

Now it’s my turn. Somehow there is both a lot to report, but not much of it that wouldn’t bore you to tears. In a nutshell: I LOVE my new job (oh, the flexibility…but oh, the responsibility!) and adore my new colleagues (somehow I always hit the lottery on this). I LOVE our new parish. And I of course LOVE being a mom to three kiddos. I also struggle with the new (and at the same time, same old) challenges being a working mom and wife presents: How do I meet everyone’s needs (at home and at work)? When do I get time with my husband? When do I get time to myself? How do I get all the work done that I need to (at home and at work)? And, oh, yeah, WHOSE LUMPY BODY IS THIS? Certainly not mine! As always, I’m a work in progress…and it wouldn’t be much fun if I knew how to answer these questions anyway. ;)

This girl--such a sweetie

My top 5 Highlights of 2015:

1.       The arrival of la pequeña

2.       My beloved and cherished cousin Maria got married (and Pili and I were part of her big day)--and her big day brought a sweet girl into our lives, Miss Katie 

3.       Our Christmas vacation, one of the best family vacations I’ve ever been on

4.       Spending the entire summer with my kids, a joy I never previously knew—while meeting new friends and getting all kinds of visits from old ones

5.       Growing professionally more than I thought possible in one year (and also getting to hire some new folks who were also old friends to my department; we’ve affectionately dubbed ourselves ‘Hoosierines’—part Hoosier, part Wolverine)

The lowlights are there, too, fear not. While we had plenty to smile about, it hasn’t been all smiles: John could stand to catch a break in his professional endeavors, he's the hardest working (and wittiest) realtor I know, he just needs a stroke of luck!; I could stand to not let work spill over into home as much, and that has its effect on us all (at least its only for 9 months out of the year now!); we could have spent our nine year anniversary in a more, perhaps, festive way (instead the big kids and I rescued John and Desi off the side of the road after he got a flat traveling from Cincy to A2) and the kids have each had their meltdowns and less than finer moments.

But so long as our lowlights taught us something (and they did: patience, faith, appreciativeness, to name a few), we’re doing okay. All in all, 2015 was a blessed adventure, and the learning curves thrown our way paved the path for a combination of growth, grit, and gratitude. What more could we ask for?

I repeat: what more could we ask for? 

Thanks to all who’ve we met on our camino in 2015: St. Thomas kids and their parents (many who have become sweet friends), our new colleagues, our new neighbors. And of course we are indebted to all of our longtime supporters who have helped us to pave our camino to, and within, Ann Arbor. Here’s to 2016!

Sincerely,

Steph